Faults
by zosomagic
Summary: An angst romance tonksremus fic : don't ya love it?
1. Faults

Faults

Nymphadora Tonks sat at her small kitchen table, a cup of hot tea in front of her. She watched the steam rise, not even wanting the tea. Her thoughts were else where. So much had happened. Sirius had been killed, the war had begun, and now the world (well, wizarding one that is) knew about it. Sirius dying had been a big blow for Tonks, the biggest one of them all. She had been dueling his killer, but she (Bella) had gotten away. She pulled the cup of tea closer, letting the steam lick her face. She starred at her reflection, and let out a sigh. She had mousy brown hair, her natural hair color. She had been having trouble metamorphosing since she had been so depressed. It wasn't just because of Sirius's death, but because Remus's last best friend had died. She couldn't help her feelings for him. She had been attracted to him ever since the met. When she saw the tears run down his face for his old friend, she felt like her heart had been ripped in two. It had killed her to see him cry. She had comforted him all she could, but in the end, he had comforted her. She had felt so guilty the way their meeting had turned out. He had been sympathizing and empathizing with her, and she went out and blurted that she loved him. Sirius had always said that Tonks would be perfect for Lupin. He needed someone who he could sympathize, and she needed a good rant once in a while. He would rather comfort that be comforted. Sirius had told her that he was so sick of people feeling sorry for him.

Sirius

Tonks' throat tightened at the thought of her dead cousin. Why did life have to be so cruel? It had been all her fault that he was dead. Her fault that Harry would have to live with the muggles. Her fault that Remus didn't have anymore old friends. She could have killed Lestrange, but she didn't. A knock at the door broke her out of her revere. Shaking her head, as if to shake out the thoughts, she set down her tea and trudged to the door. To her surprise, (a very sexy) Remus Lupin, clad in thinning hair and shabby robes, stood at her doorstep.

"Hello, Tonks."

"Watcher, come on in," she said gloomily. He gave her an empathetic look, and walked into Tonks' small flat. She shut and bolted the door with a flick of her wand.

"What can I do for you?" she asked, sitting back at her table, "Tea?"

"Thanks, no," Remus said, "Oh, just came for a visit."

"Oh……"

"I can leave if you want to be alone."

"No, no, it's all right. I seem to feel a bit better when you're around." Tonks blushed when she realized what she had said, and continued to stare into her tea. In reality, however, she did seem better. Whatever had been squeezing at her hear had loosened it's grip just a little.

"Tonks…. I know where this is heading. We have already discussed this," Remus said with a great sadness in his voice.

"I know," Tonks voice sounded hallow. She didn't want to believe what he had told her though. She had told Remus that three word phrase that would make some people blush, or cry, or (to the overwhelmed) faint. She really did still love her, but when she heard those words, it should have broken her heart. The problem was that her heart was so broken, that it couldn't be broken anymore.

"Tonks, don't look like that," Remus sighed, taking her hand. She snapped out of her trance. When I say snapped, I am being quite serious. Literally snapped.

"Remus! All you give is excuses! I love you and I wasn't you to love me! When I finally realize that you don't, you come here holding my hand and telling me not to look like this" her hands swept in front of her face and hair, " this! The sad look on my face is there because you put it there! You strike me down, come back, and strike me down again!" She got up and began to storm around the kitchen. " I don't even know how you feel!" she placed her hands on the counter, and spun around with a glare, "How do you feel, Remus Lupin? Hmm? Tell me that one thing!" She turned back around to face the sink, tears streaming. How could he do this to her. She heard his chair move, and he getting up. She assumed he was leaving. That is assumed. You know what people do when they assume? They make an ass out of you and me (I am so sorry with the cliché, but it was just begging to get in here!) The next thin Nymphadora Tonks knew, she was being spun around, and snogged senseless by the man that she loved an wanted so desperately. Remus broke away, sadness in his eyes.

"That's how I feel about you Nymphadora Tonks, but we can never be." And with that, he walked out of the door, closing it with a click behind him.


	2. Angst and Trouble

Remus Lupin shut the door to Tonk's apartment with a click. He let out a deep sigh, and headed for the street. As he walked down the stairs, and into the courtyard, rain began to fall.

'Isn't this just great? The rain matches my mood.' He thought to himself. Pulling his cloak closer, he began to run for the street the rain beating on his head. As soon as he hit the pavement he shut his eyes, and disappeared with a 'POP'.

When the pressure from every direction was gone, Remus opened his eyes and smiled at the sight of his living room. It wasn't a nice living room, everything was second hand and shabby. The furniture and carpet's colors were fading from their continuous use. Inhaling, Remus threw off his sopping wet coat casting a drying spell over it and himself. Running a hand through his now dry hair, he plopped down on the chair that his parents had given him as a house-warming present when he got out of Hogwarts. Sighing, he pointed his wand at the fireplace, and a raring fire shot up. He sat there, watching the dancing flames lick the logs. His thoughts drifted back to five minuets ago and his meeting with Tonks. He hung his head. He loved her so much, but they could never be together. He was a werewolf for Merlin's sake, and she was so much younger than him. Remus got up, and trudged to the wall. He stared at the broken mirror hanging there.

"Why would she want an old poor werewolf like me?" he wondered aloud.

"REMUS, REMUS ARE YOU THERE?" a high pitched voice yelled from the fireplace. Remus spun around, and ducked behind his chair. He poked his head out.

"Molly, is that you?"

Molly Weasley's head turned, and grinned at him broadly.

"Oh, THERE you are Remus! I was just wondering if you would want to come over for dinner."

"All right, Molly, I'll come," he said, forcing a smile on his face. Molly needed all the cheering up she could get. Fleur (or Flem as Ginny liked to call her) was driving her up the walls. He would be there for, well, moral support. Remus closed his eyes, and disappeared with a 'POP' only to reemerge in the Weasley's kitchen. Molly was just pulling her head out of the fireplace, and Fleur was setting the table. Arthur, the Evening Profit in hand, sat at the table listening to Fleur talk about the wedding, nodding occasionally. He looked up, and smiled.

"'ello Remus! See you've come for dinner. What have you been up to?" Arthur said.

"Oh, nothing really."

"'inner's rea'dy!" Fleur pronounced proudly.

"It looks wonderful, dear." Molly said with a twitch in her eye.

Just when everyone had sat down, there was a burst of green flames, and Minerva McGonagall's head was in the Weasley's fireplace.

"MOLLY, ARTHUR!" she sounded panicked. Molly's eyes went wide, and she shot over to the floating head.

"Minerva, what's going on?"

"Come to the school immediately. Death Eaters."

Molly gasped, and Arthur muttered profanities under his breath. There wasn't a word said, when everyone disappeared with a 'POP' to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.


	3. Unexpected Voices

It had happened. Dumbledore was dead. Remus ran a hand through his gray streaked hair, sighing. Just a few moments ago he had been in the hospital wing with everyone. He had slipped out unnoticed when Hagrid had come in. Sitting in the far back of the library, his old favorite hiding spot back when he was in school, brooding.

"Damnit!" Remus banged his fist on the table, making an echo all through the deserted place. How could this have happened? He held his head in his hands, trying to even comprehend what had just happened. He was still in utter shock. Dumbledore dead, FAT CHANCE! Well, this was real, and he had to get used to it. Dumbledore was there for him when no one else was. He was a little child who had been bitten by a werewolf, a half-breed, but Dumbledore still took him into school. Plus, to top his day off, Tonks had made a scene about the two of them and Arthur and Molly had AGREED with her. Couldn't they just accept that he was too old for her! Too poor! Too dangerous! He was a bloody werewolf for Merlin's sake!

"Can't she understand!" he cried, running both his hands through his hair, his elbows on the table.

"No, she won't." said a distant voice.

"Hello?" Remus asked into the empty library.

"She loves you Remus." Remus could have sworn he knew this person's voice, but I seemed like he hadn't heard it for at least 16 years.

"Who is this?" Remus asked in a panicked voice. It couldn't be…

"He is right you know Moony." Said another distant voice.

"Sirius?" Remus could feel tears falling.

"Now Moony, I can't believe you didn't recognize Prongsies voice!" This couldn't be happening, he was going insane.

"I am insane, you guys are dead."

"Yea, it doesn't mean we can't talk to you if we want. Oh, and you're still sane."

"Are you serious? Why didn't you talk to me before!" Remus demanded, standing up, knocking back his chair.

"We can only talk to you when someone very close to you have died and left their body," James Potter's voice explained.

"I'm so sorry Moony. I wish I hadn't fallen," Sirius Black's choked up voice said.

"Anyway, Remus, we don't have a lot of time left, the connection is about to break in a minute or so, Nymphadora loves you and always will. Give her a chance. From what we've seen, you love her too."

"Absurd!" Remus muttered.

"Remus Lupin, we saw that kiss! The last time we saw you give one of those was to Elizabeth Sheffer in sixth year after the Yule ball." James's voice said, sounding amused. Remus turned red.

"You saw that?" he asked.

"Damn fine job, if I do say so myself. Anyway, my cousin is perfect for you." Sirius's voice said, sounding even more distant.

"We're complete opposites!" Remus exclaimed.

"Exactly." James's voice said drifting off into a whisper on the last syllable.

"Padfoot? Prongs? Oh, please don't leave me!"

"I am so sorry Remus, just think over what we said." The whisper of Sirius's voice pleaded.

"I'm going to see you soon, I expect."

"No," James's whisper said, "you have much, much longer to live."

And then, they were gone. Remus rushed out of the library, feeling very dazed and confused. He had just spoken to his dead best friends. They had told him that Tonks was right for him. He rushed out of the castle, not caring f anyone saw him. He distantly heard someone call his name, but he didn't really hear it. As soon as he made his way off the grounds and out of the Hogwarts gates, he aperated to his house with a 'POP'.


	4. Down Hill, then up again

AHHHHHHHHHHH! I'm back!

I am sooo sorry for bot updating, but you know, high school. I am taking 9 courses, so yea. I finnaly compiled all of my notes for this story, locked myself in the computeroom, laptop in lap, and I just typed. It is sorta long, compared to the rest of the chappys. Enjoy some angsty Remus/Tonks shippage!-Tara

Downhill, but Back Up Again

Tonks was lost in a daze. Dumbledore was dead. Killed by Snape? One of the men he most trusted.

"What is this world coming to?" Tonks thought, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, and wiping her face with the back of her hand. The Hogwarts Halls were eerily empty. He heart hammered, and tears stung her eyes. This used to be her home, and he used to be her teacher. Why did she feel like this twenty four seven, this grief, this depression that gripped her heart and soul? It clawed at her in the night, and made her dizzy in the day. It made her, he made her, not be able to magically function. It was his entire fault. He did this to her. He made her so sad, that she was losing herself.

The wind whipped Tonks's mousy brown hair as she walked down the Hogwarts grounds, the usual spring in her step absent. She had called Reumus's name, but he had run right by her. Maybe her crush was just that, a crush. He would never look back on his hermit ways and come to her and be happy. He was just too, too. What was the word she was looking for? Stupid, no...idiotic, no...Dumbass, that's the right one. Well, he was more of a dumb werewolf, but the ring that ass gave to it, made Tonks feel better about herself...sort of.

A light drizzle began to fall, but Tonks didn't notice. The aching pain in her heart wouldn't go away, and was all that she could focus on. How could he make her feel this way? He would build her up, and then push her down again. But when he had kissed her, though, it felt like he had really meant it. She had felt his feelings behind it. Why wouldn't he admit to himself that he had those feelings? Why does he just run away all the time?

"He thinks I am too young. A little kid." Tonks groaned. She kicked the moss covered Hog statue on the way out of the grounds.

"I am just fed up with him. This is it. This is the time that Nymphadora Tonks is over Remus Lupin." She mumbled. In reality, though, she knew she was just kidding herself.

Lupin arrived at Tonks's flat with a pop. It was chilly and cloudy that night in London. The wind made Remus pull his shabby cloak around him tighter. He glanced up at Tonks's muggle apartment building. It wasn't in the nicest part of town, some of the shutters were hanging off the hinges, and tiles were falling of. It was a three story walkup that was wound around a courtyard with a broken fountain. The goose in the middle's beack and wing was broken off. It really suited the place. Jumping two steps at a time, he reached Tonks's flat, and knocked.

"Tonks, I am so sorry. I am an idiot. We could work out! No, no, no that's stupid. Tonks, err, I love you...no that is even more stupid. I'm a prat, Tonks, give me a bloody chance, won't you forgive me? No that sounds like something James would say to Lily..."

Remus's eyes filled with tears as he thought about his lost friends. His conversation with them was the reason that he was here in the first place.

"O.k., focus Lupin, you dumb werewolf." He continued contemplating what he was going to say, excuses, smooth lines he had heard James say in the old days, and conversation starters for another five minuets. There still had not been any movement at the door. He knocked again.

Looking around at the broken down building, he crept to the window, and peaked in. The TV was on, and his favorite American muggle television show was on, Buffy.

"She must have left it on," he thought to himself. He hadn't seen this episode. There was a small cough behind him that broke him out of his Buffy thoughts. He spun around and was nose to nose with Tonks.

"Err," his eyes darted to the ground, hen her hair, then her chest, then the ground again. 'Can she see me blushing? Oh Merlin, pull yourself together man! You are acting like a fifteen year old girl.

"Remus, what are you doing here?" Tonks asked, annoyance creeping into her voice.

"Err... I wanted to see you." Remus said, wringing his hands. He hadn't been this nervous since he took his NEWTS.

It began to rain, forming puddles in the courtyard and on the steps. Lightning lit the sky, followed by a clap of thunder that made Tonks jump.

"Um, do you want to come it?" Tonks asked, feeling very uncomfortable.

"Yea, o.k." Remus said, a blush creeping up his neck.

Tonks walked to her door, brushing Remus on the way. He felt her shrink away from him, like she was holding herself back. He furrowed his brow with confusion. It was quickly swiped away, when Tonks turned around, and said in a very old Tonks voice.

"Welcome to my humble abode. Oh bloody hell, I left the telly on." Remus couldn't help but chuckle.

"What are you chuckling at?" she spun around, eyes playfully narrowed.

"Nothing, nothing. Tonks... I need to talk to you..." Remus started while Tonks walked into her apartment.

"We have been over this." She said, sadness and anger (well, mostly annoyance) rising in her voice. Remus furrowed his brow.

"Tonks this is different, I lov..."

"Yea, yea...I know...tortured Lupin. Can't get close to anyone because he's a werewolf. I have heard it a million times." Tonks said, sounding very bitter.

"But I lo..."

"Whatever, I don't want anymore of your speeches. I am done with it. You are just going to have to...I am just going to have to live without you."

Tonks said, looking up at the ceiling and crossing her arms. The tears were coming, she could feel them. They were about to spill over.

"Tonks..." Remus said in an empathic away, walking over to her. He wrapped her in his arms, letting her cry into her shoulder.

"Shhhhh..." he said, resting his chin on the top of her head.

"remus, why did you come here. I know you didn't come to see me act like a baby," Tonks sobbed into his shoulder.

"I came here to tell you I love you." Remus said, holding her tighter.

She pulled away, her eyes wide.

"You waaa?" Surprise wracked her body.

"I love you, I just needed some...council...to make me recognize it."

Tonks and Remus's faces began to inch towards eachother.

"You know, if we do this, there is no turning back. No more too dangerous too poor act," Tonks said in a whisper.

"I know," He said, closing the gap.

Thanks to all the wondefull reviewers.!

**(on Harry Potter Fanficton. comunreliablenarrator8, greenyoda987, LunaDragonFly, AppleBz, KatieL, Moonysgirl, JadePotter, Lauren, Cricket, jenny, SamTheWicked, Kimberly, **


	5. Chapter 5

An unexplainable sensation spread through Tonks as Remus closed the gap between them. She had kissed many men before, but this felt so much different. In all of the other kisses, there was always a promise of thrill, excitement and risk. In Remus' kiss, there was a pledge of true belonging, friendship, tenderness, passion, and love. She had no doubts about his feelings anymore. All of her uneasiness vanished as she felt him deepen the kiss and wrap his arms around her waist. In return, she wrapped her arms around his neck, standing on her tiptoes to reach him. It was an overwhelming wave of emotions, and Tonks was controlled by them. She pulled away, trying to control herself. She rested her head on Remus's shoulder, breathing deep. Feeling his chin rest on her mousy brown hair, the tears began to fill her eyes.

"Merlin," Tonks sniffled, "Why does this happen to me at a moment like this?"

"Tonks, are you alright?" Remus asked worried, pulling away.

"No, no. I'm fine. Just, happy," she looked into his eyes, "Really happy."

Remus looked at her, and hugged her.

"I think I should go."

Tonks looked up at him, furrowing her brow.

"Why?"

"Er...Dumbledore's funeral is tomorrow," Remus said, glancing at the floor, the ceiling, the poster of Buffy on the wall, anything but Tonks.

"Oh my..." Tonks sighed, grief overcoming her features as she slumped onto the near by couch. "I am a horrible person... I should be...I shouldn't be like this."

"Like what?"

"Happy. I should be sad, grieving, mourning. Not so happy that I feel light headed. Remus I am a horrible person."

"Oh, Tonks..."

"No, I am. I am so selfish and, and..." Tonks choked out, tears streaming down her face. She fell down on the blue pillows of her couch, sobbing. She was an awful person. How could she be kissing Remus, and being happy? This was a time for mourning, not time for her stupid love.

Remus walked over to her on the couch, sitting next to her. She shifted her position, and fell against him, sobbing. The tears soaked Remus's shirt, but he didn't think about it. All he could think was how he could make Tonks feel better.

"Tonks...sweetie...shh...shhh..."

They stayed like that until they both feel asleep.

The sun cut through the uncovered windows, creeping its way across the floor of Tonks' apartment. Remus shifted in his sleep, whispering an inaudible string of words. Tonks stirred next to him, her heavy eyelids lifting. She shifted to on top of him, feeling the cramp in her lower back, and in her ankle.

"Remus..." She whispered in her scratchy, I-just-woke-up-so-you-better-get-up-too, voice.

"Reeeemmmmussssss!" she whined, "Wolf Boy, get your ass up."

Finally, she had to resort to dramatic measures. She ran her hands through her hair, smoothed her shirt, and cracked her knuckles.

"Remus, don't make me do it. It's going to hurt, and trust me, you will hate me for it, but I have tried everything that my tired little brown head can think of, so here I go..."

Tonks uncurled her index finger, held it above his chest, and with a dramatic swipe, she poked him. He stirred, and tried to move, but Tonks was on top of him. She brought her finger in another series of pokes at his chest.

"Merrrrrrrrrrr" Remus made a deep noise in the back of his throat as she hurriedly poked his chest. He had been awake for five minuets now, but it was so much fun watching her be annoyed, even though there was a stinging pain where she was continuously poking him.

"Remus, I know you are awake, I saw your eyeballs move. Now, you wolfie, Lupin, Remus, teacher person, get off this sofa and make me some tea!"

"Make you some tea? Aren't you supposed to respect your elders?"

"HaHa, now my throat hurts, and I blame you!" Tonks said, with a playful grin on her face, crossing her arms.

"Now, Nymphadora, I would get up, but I seem to have this big, mousy haired, droller, snoring woman on top of me, and I just can't seem to bring myself to get up. You know these old limbs of mine."

"Oh, heh, sorry 'bout that. Wait, I SNORE?"

"Damn right you snore," Remus said as Tonks got off of him, and made his way to her kitchen.

"That's right, go and make some tea for me, and come CRAWILING back to me to apologize for being a prat!"

"What?" Remus asked, sticking his head out behind the wall that separated the kitchen from the living room. He looked so cute, his hair all disheveled, and his eyes bright. Tonks smiled and said,

"Never mind."

She got up from her place on the sofa, cracking her neck. Merlin, how she hated that thing.

"Remus, I think we should have slept in my bed, that sofa about murdered my back."

"What are you suggesting?" Remus asked playfully, stirring his tea and leaning against the countertop.

"I think you know exactly what I am suggesting." Tonks said in a, well, suggestive voice. When she saw his cheeks turn a light pink, she walked over to where he was standing, stood on her tip toes, and kissed him. He closed his eyes, and right before he was about to wrap his arm around her, she snatched his tea, and ran off towards her room.

"Wait, whaa?"

"Bwhahahaha!" He heard Tonks yell from inside her bathroom.

"You stole my tea while you were KISSING me! How low can you get?"

"Well, I can get pretty low," Tonks said sticking her head out of the door, pecking him on the mouth, and disappearing back into the bathroom.

"Wow, I cannot belive you just said that," Remus said, a deeper blush spreading across his face and neck.

"Well, I did. I need to take a shower, so make yourself some more tea, while I enjoy the cup that you made me."

The water turned on, and he felt the steam begin the seep from underneath the door.

Remus walked over the sofa, not feeling like tea at the moment, and in a very un-Remus way, flopped down. He emitted a happy sigh, and felt sleep begin to pull at his eyelids again, and he didn't fight it this time.


End file.
